Tuesday, December 20, 2005


I am so sick of this, whatever this is. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I want to be held, to be comforted. I want to run, screaming my head off all the while. I want to disappear. I want to dig a hole and hide. I want to take a bat and beat the hell out of something.

There is a lot of anxiety and panic. Fight or flight syndrome... I'm ready to take flight!

I'm ready to cut myself, to mutilate myself so that I am truly ugly from the outside in, to make my outside match how I see my inside.

How crazy is that?

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