Friday, October 03, 2008

The Cycle


I stopped writing because it's always the same thing over and over again.

"I feel like crying"
"I'm sad"
"I feel worthless"

Blah blah fucking blah.

Can you tell I'm angry? I am so fucking sick of all of those things. I have absolutely had it with all of this bullshit just creeping up and smothering me.

What do I do?

I don't know what to do.

I'm getting to the point where I just want to scream a big "FUCK YOU" and run in front of a bus.

Like a bug on a windshield. Splat. Peace. No feelings. No thoughts. Eternal peace.

Christ. I've lost it. Completely fuckin lost it.

And here I am telling myself this too shall pass... LIAR... this too shall pass... it passes but it always always always comes back.

I'm stuck on some demented merry-go-round. My feeble pleas ignored by the devil in a conductors suit. Oh wait.. maybe that's my father. Or maybe Byron...

Maybe it's me?