Monday, January 09, 2012

It's been a while...

Wow, how time flies and life just happens.

I've come here many times over the past few years to write but I always delete what I wrote for some reason. I think it's because I feel guilty that I don't need this anymore.

I'm in a good place and have been for a few years.

I got married in 2009 to the boyfriend I often spoke of in my posts. We have a good marriage, we are happy. We communicate, we trust each other. It is so wonderful to have someone I can count on, who understands me. He has read this blog from start to finish and never once did he pass judgement. I love him!

We had a baby girl in 2010. She is the absolute love of my life. I'm biased, but she is amazing! I thank God for her daily. Every morning is like waking up in a dream, like I've stepped into someone else's seemingly perfect, happy life.

I never, ever thought this would be my life. If I was asked 10 years ago where I would be today I NEVER would have said this. I never would have thought happily married with a daughter was in my future. Based on my past alone I figured I would be a hardened person who was still very much alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is hope. There is a top to that seemingly never ending mountain we climb on the way to healing. Those peaks and valleys that seem to be like quicksand, sucking you down and holding you in a standstill of pain DO end. I'm living proof. If you can't trust in the process (I had a helluva time trusting my counselor that things would get better if I just keep working at it) trust in me (I know, cliche!) because it does happen.

You DO heal.

You WILL find happiness.

Most of all, you DESERVE to be healed. You DESERVE to be happy.