Thursday, April 27, 2006

And a lightbulb went off!

I have an idea...

I think it may be feasible, depending of course on funding.

Searching for Angela Shelton - for those who are not familiar, it's a documentary about Angela Shelton who is a survivor and her travel across the US searching for other Angela Sheltons. She found 40 Angela Sheltons, 24 of whom are also survivors. Basically, it's all about breaking the silence and healing.

As a fundraiser, I was thinking of purchasing the right to hold two public viewings of the documentary.

Holly of Holly's Fight For Justice and I are working together to create a national hotline in Canada, much like RAINN in the US, or locally, The Kids Help Phone.

I think this might be a great way to fundraise for the hotline, as well as silicone bracelet sales.

I was also thinking of approaching local helplines and crisis centers to see if they might possibly want to get on board.

It might also be an idea to do the same in the US for Marj's idea of creating Survivor's Aid.

What do you think?


Revolutionary Blogger said...

Great idea, it will help so many people.

survivor said...

Thanks for the encouragement Rev!

Anonymous said...


I have written to you before, sent a few long post days ago.
Anyway, i don´t know why i try to identified myself whe i sign as anonymous. A bit of a contradiction.

I read your blog almost everyday, and I wanted to write days ago, when you posted about sexual feelings during abuse.
IT is very brave of you to bring that up.
I did take a long long time to come to terms with that part, and I have to say I didn´t feel very reasure or validated by my counsellor. (one of the reasons i drop counselling). Maybe that is why I wanted to say, that a lot of us, survivors have experience what you described.
One never gets too much reasurance.

I also wanted to ask you some questions.
I have been thinking quite a lot about starting a blog. When you wrote about how sometimes you in a way liked your fathers attention, i did felt like writting about my own experience, but I feel posting long commets about my own experience is not right.(I am not very familiar with this, but i am sure there is some blogging protocol)
There are several thing that hold me from starting my blog.
I guess the main one is anonimity. I worry about people I know coming across it.
Some people know about my story, but that doesn´t mean they know how I feel about it. I have talked in some more detail to a couple of friends but...I don´t think I would like them reading.
I guess i don´t really know what impact would have.
I wonder if your friends or your boyfriend know about your blog, and if so, has it changed the relationship?
I am worried even about people I know, who are not friends who could linked me to the blog. Is that likely to happen?

In my paranoia I have tought that maybe the name I pick would give me away, so, could you "give" me a name?
Even if I don´t start my own blog I could still use it to identify myself when writting to you, though I am not sure that is important at all.

I read a bit about Angela Shelton, didn´t know anything about the documental before, it looks very interesting, i think your idea is very good.
(You seem full of energy and strenght recently, going forward. I am glad)

jumpinginpuddles said...

i think its great and maybe if its big enough someone over in aus will notice and do the same thing

survivor said...

Thanks Jump (hope it's OK I call you jump)

survivor said...

Hi Anon,

I'm sorry that your counsellor wasn't receptive to your feelings. I hope reading the article I posted brings you some validation and reassurance that you're not alone. Have you thought of finding another counsellor, perhaps one who specializes in sexual abuse?

Please feel free to comment on anything. That includes your perceptions, opinions, experiences, anything you feel like writing. I started this blog not only to aide my healing, but to help and support others who may be going through similar things.

I have shared my blog with a few friends who have also been abused. My best friend knows about my blog, but I have not given him the address because I'm not ready to share this much. One day I think I will let him read it. My boyfriend also knows about my blog, but again does not know the address. I'm sure if they really wanted to, they could find it. As for my friends who do read my blog our relationships haven't changed.

In regards to blogging, there's always a chance someone you know might link you with your blog. When you're on the internet, I don't believe it's possible to remain 100% anonymous.

A few things to help you be anonymous as possible would be to not include your location or any personally identifying information and refrain from using anyone's real name. I think as long as you don't reveal the aforementioned, the chances of someone stumbling upon your blog and linking it to you are fairly slim. There is always the slight possibility however.

As for a name, I chose Survivor because that is what I am, a survivor of not only abuse but of life in general. On iSurvive I use the name of breathing1 because it reminds to breathe, and to keep breathing no matter what happens. One breath, two breaths...

I think you should choose a name that holds meaning for you.

If you wanted to go with something I suggest, then maybe Breeya. It's Gaelic for strength or force as I see you as being a very strong person, kind hearted person.

I think I answered all of your questions.

Remember; feel free to write/comment on anything and everything! Or if you're not comfortable, you can always email me anytime, just click on my profile and there's a link to send me email.

Take care,

Donna said...

Hi, I just found your blog and wanted to ask if it would be OK to link you on my blog as a "Fellow Traveler". I started blogging a couple years ago as a way to put down in words my issues regarding infertility, and to gain and maintain a support network. Once we stopped treatment (after 3 unsuccessful years) I decided a new blog was in order, one that encompassed all of my issues, not just infertility. As an incest and rape survivor I will always be dealing with issues. As an aside, I was born and raised in the Vancouver BC area, but now live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Thank you for the work you are doing.

survivor said...

Hi Donna,

You are more than welcome to link to me.

I love the Vancouver area... it's my dream destination!

Sorry to hear about your unsuccesful fertility attempts. It's a tragedy when people who are deserving and would make incredible parents want to conceive are unable to, and people who don't deserve the trust of a child can.

Take care!

Anonymous said...

Hi Survivor,

Thanks for answering my questions.
I like the name Breeya, I am not sure I "deserve" it but I think I´ll use it. Thanks. (I actually felt quite flatered :) )
I know I should choose something that has meaning for me, but as i said i thought if someone who knows me comes across it, it would be one more clue to link the me with the writting.
I guess I am particularly worried about my boyfriend(?).
Things between us are going really bad, there not much communication lately. He accidentally saw this blog when using my computer, it appeared on the history, and I did get upset about it, and got very moody, closing the door to any questions that I thought he might ask about how i feel about "things".
I know he is really upset that I am withdrawing, and I wouldn´t be surprise if he tries to find this, or similar blogs, himself.
More than anyhting right now I need my own space, time for myself. Not being questioned. I feel presured by him to be different to feel different. I have tried to explain to him how i feel and what makes me feel like that. He says sorry today and does the same thing,or a similar one, tomorrow.
With time I have become tired of it, and explanations,talks, became complains, arguments. I got exhausted with those, so i started not to say anyhting. Obviously just to make matters worse.
I don´t know why i wrote all that, just letting my mind go, I guess.

About finding another counsellor. I have thought about it, but I am not sure is time yet.
There were more issues i think my counsellor didn´t pick up well, and I left therapy feeling that the balance positive/negative effects of it was not good. I think I need some more time before seeing someone would helo, as I would be too wary of a therapist now.
But yes, when i do try again I will look for a person that specialises on sexual abuse, incest issues. Stupidly enough I didn´t do it before.

thanks again.
Take care.


Dr. Deborah Serani said...

A totally GREAT idea.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

A totally GREAT idea.

survivor said...

Thanks Dr Deb!

survivor said...


Glad you liked the name! I put a lot of thought into it. And from what I know, have "seen" about you, it's describes you to a "T"!!

I'm sorry about your boyfriend. Communication, honest listening and understanding each other is one of the hardest things I find in relationships. All relationships for that matter.

I'm gonna be a hypocrite and tell you be nice to yourself! You did the hardest thing of all already, and that was seeking help in the first place. Remember that.

Also try to remember that not all counsellors or psychologists and clients are perfect fits. Maybe when you feel ready to seek help again, contact a crisis center or sexual assault center (if there's one near you) for referals to counsellors.

Most of all, remember baby steps.

Take care of you.