Thursday, February 02, 2006

February

Valentines Day is all I can think about.

My boyfriend is already making plans for that night...

I can't tell him I don't celebrate Valentines Day...

I think this year I will face it head on. I'm not sure if I'm ready to, but I can't let it continue to have a hold on me. What happened that day will forever be a part of me. It has changed me, but it doesn't control me. Yeah... just keep telling yourself that.

It doesn't control me.

Right!

I was standing in line yesterday at the bank, there was a man standing behind me a little too close. I have a 3 foot bubble, MY personal space. He invaded it. He brushed his hand against my ass, I just stood there frozen, my legs felt like jello and my heart started to pound. I think he apologized but I'm not entirely sure. The teller had to call my number 3 times before I heard her and realized I was next.

Who freaks out at a simple accidental touch? Who splits (as I've started to call it) in a public place?

This isn't the first time it has happened either, but it is the event that stands out most in my mind. Probably because it's the most recent.

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I am needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

3 comments:

Revolutionary Blogger said...

Stay strong, one day at a time!

Holly said...

Stay strong, one day at a time, like revolutionary blogger says: also remember you can do this, you are a SURVIVOR!!

survivor said...

Rev and Holly,

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for the encouragement!