It's all in my head. I'm doing this to myself. I must be. I've got to somehow learn to let go and stop torturing myself. I thought by writing out my rape, getting the poison out, it would alleviate what I was dreading would happen today.
Boy was I wrong.
I'm wrought with grief, sadness, pain. The tears are trying to come, but I won't let them. I can't deal with this right now.
My boyfriend is taking me out for a romantic dinner at an unknown restaruant. He won't tell me where we are going, and honestly, that scares me. I know he's trying to be sly and romantic and stuff, but it really has me freaked out. I think it has to do with control.
I don't think I'm ready to celebrate today.