Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Not OK

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame

I'm not OK.

I keep telling myself to keep my head up, stay strong, using the mantra of this too shall pass - it sure doesn't feel like it though.

I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I just don't learn.

I've been trying to stuff all of these rotten feelings down, keep them anchored and I KNOW it only makes it worse. I know from experience, yet I keep doing it. Old habits die hard maybe?? Nah, I'm just an idiot.

A failure. A disappointment. A waste of time.

Wow! It's really sad how I beat myself up and repeat the words I heard all the time growing up.

All alone, I don't like the feeling
All alone, I sit and cry
All alone, I have to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I feel inside

I burned my arm...


Revolutionary Blogger said...

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles."
--Helen Keller

Holly said...

Dear Survivor,
You will make it, remember one day at a time. Revolutionary's blogger's quote by Helen Keller is a great one! take care

survivor said...

That is a very inspiring quote Rev. I'll remember that, thanks

survivor said...