Had a session with my counsellor yesterday. It was a really good session, we covered some vital parts... and came to make a decision that has me all freaked out!
I'm going to talk to my friend who told me to be a big girl, forget about it, move on.
I'm not one for confrontation or being assertive with men. I have no problem being assertive with women, with men, it's a different story. I can't express what I want or need, I let them do whatever they want, treat me however they want, anything - it's my normal and I don't like it. I hate it actually. But I'm terrified to change...
I'm terrified to be vulnerable - so easily hurt.
I'm terrified to change - but terrified not to.
I'm afraid to take risks - can't bear not to.
I'm scared to be alone - but want to be.
So I emailed him the article and apologized for being moody and irritable lately but explained that that is just me right now, part of everything that I am going through. I told him that it really hurt when he said I'm a big girl now and should forget and move on.
Waiting for his reply is driving me insane.
This is another big step for me. Confrontation, in a sense, but more so standing up for myself and taking action against someone who hurt me, especially a man.
I CAN DO THIS!