Saturday, August 19, 2006

Dream

I had an incredible dream.

I've been exhausted, I spent the week working in the office, and with starting at 5am I've been dragging myself out of bed at 3:30am meaning I've had almost no sleep all week.

I slept last night. A deep, sweet slumber. It was incredible.

I dreamt about being cared for. About crying, sobbing uncontrollably and having someone hold me. Rubbing my back and just holding me. They didn't talk, just held me. I've never felt so loved or cared for in my life, and even though it was a dream, it was truly amazing.

I cried and cried and just talked. Told them all the horrible things my father did to me. Talked about the rape and how much it hurt and still hurts. How much pain I'm in, how sad and broken I feel. I was real, and this person let me be real and it was amazing.

God, how much I want that in real life.

7 comments:

jumpinginpuddles said...

excellent i hope thats many more nights to come for you

Scarlett_demon said...

I have dreams like that sometimes too. I usually have a massive sense of having lost something afterwards. It's a weird experience.

survivor said...

Scarlett - you're so right! After relishing in the warmth of the dream, and realizing I don't have that in real life and probably never will there is a huge loss... kinda sucks

survivor said...

Thanks JIP

Marj aka Thriver said...

My therapist always gave me credit for dreams like that. Maybe because I was finally believing that I deserved something good. I think you get credit for yours, too! Good job!

cheesemeister said...

I have some esoteric beliefs. I think the dream friend was real. They were either an angel or a benevolent spirit. Maybe that's just me being nutty, but I truly do believe this!

survivor said...

Thanks Marj

Thanks Cie