Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Cardiologist

When he walked in the room, he took one look at me and asked me whats up, said I don't look very well. I said I was just tired. He lifted up my sleeve to take my blood pressure and saw the burn marks on my arm, he put down my sleeve and said "no really, whats up?"

I just started bawling. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "it's OK, take all the time you need." After a few minutes I pulled myself together a little bit and he told me it was OK to talk to him, he then asked about my ex husband. I told him we were getting divorced. He asked me why, I told him I he wasn't a nice guy. "I gathered that from your past few visits" he said. He told me that he has been down that road, and it's very difficult, that the emotional part is the hardest. He kept talking while he finished the exam, I didn't really hear him. I was beyond embarrassed that I cried in front of someone, my cardiologist at that! Once he finished the exam, I snapped back to the present, he told me to take good care of myself and that if I needed to disappear from the world for a few days to do it because I deserve it.

Here is this doctor, someone I've seen 10 times in three years telling me to take good care of myself because I deserve it. Someone I've spent maybe 3 hours with in those 3 years gets to see me fall apart momentarily when I can't even do that with friends or my counsellor.

I don't get it.

1 comment:

Fallen Rose said...

I'm guessing it's because there was some part of you that knew you could trust him, and your instincts were right.