Saturday, November 05, 2005


There I was, laughing and playing pool with friends when out of nowhere this intense wave of sadness rushes over me. I bottled the sadness until I could no longer keep on the face. Told them I wasn't feeling well and needed to leave. It wasn't a complete lie, but not completely the truth either. I just didn't want to be around anyone, wanted to isolate myself and try to honor the sadness instead of pushing it down.

I am trying to find the cause of the sadness, the trigger. Unfortunately I have not connected with it as of yet and I have a strong feeling I will not.

Spoke too soon!

Have you ever felt completely alone, yet you are surrounded by people? Surrounded by good friends?

That is exactly what I felt. What I still feel.

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