Monday, June 05, 2006

hating this

The weekend was OK. I spent a lot of time lying in the hot sun. I wish I could say I got some really good thinking in, but I just stared blankly at the trees and listened to the songs of the birds. It was a fight to keep the tears at bay.

I usually love it at my cabin. I love being outdoors and in the woods. I'm fascinated with trees, every tree is completely unique. I love waking up, sitting on the deck with a cup of coffee, smoking a cigarette and listening to the birds with my eyes closed. It's completely grounding and reminds me how beautiful life really is.

I didn't really enjoy it this time though.

I felt like crying instead of smiling.

5 comments:

Tiesha's Place said...

Then cry! I hope you're having a better day.

Marj aka Thriver said...

You know you don't owe it to anybody to smile. Just do what you have to to take care of yourself.

Hey, I know you're going through a really rough time right now, but I'm wondering if you'd be willing to take part in my blog "Carnival Against Child Abuse." The only reason I ask is because sometimes when I'm doing something to raise awareness it helps me feel better. It's really easy, you just provide a permalink to a post you've already got archived here. When you get a chance, visit my blog for the details. No pressure.

Take gentle care and comfort!

jumpinginpuddles said...

maybe crying is the first step toward being able to smile.

Joeline

Wanda's Wings said...

I'm sorry it wasn't what you hoped for. I cry at the drop of a hat and it can help.
So can hugs. You WILL enjoy all these things agin.

((hugs))

john michael said...

If you feel like crying by all means let the tears flow! There is a reason for the tears, let them express whatever it is they need to express. You will feel better afterwards. You may not know why, then again you may. My wife is a survivor also, sometimes she cries when not knowing why...in her case it sometimes is another keeper (her system of multiples) who needs to cry or is crying on the inside.

After all, if you are at your cabin in the woods, among God and His creatures, why not be emotional? It won't hurt.

Please take care

John W and Keepers
http://www.keeperskorner.com