Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Running On Empty

I feel like screaming. Yelling. Shouting. Breaking something.

I'm fucked no matter which way I turn.

I've been on my own for almost a year now. In that year I think I've undone everything C or T helped me do. I'm an emotional wreck that even the jaws of life couldn't save.

I'm scared to contact C again and ask for help, although I have figured out a way to pay for sessions... the good ol' tax refund. With that I would be able to have 10 sessions. I'm worried that I'll waste them, that I won't be able to talk after all this time has passed. Maybe I'll ask C for email sessions to begin with as I am better at writing my feelings and thoughts as opposed to verbalizing them. Or is that just a way out from my fear? I really don't know.

OK, I did it. I sent C an email asking if we could still work together.

Now I wait...

6 comments:

The Survivor said...

I hope she will say yes. I contacted my former psych few weeks ago and she never returned my call or my email.

One of my close friend has been my rock but it's not easy. This is a lifelong journey eh?

I'm thinking of you. BTW reading your blog has helped me a lot.

Hang in there!

Lynn said...

I hope you get a reply soon. I know how time can sometimes seem to drag when there is a need for help.

Wanda's Wings said...

I know how hard it is to wait for some type of answer. Never fast enough! Good luck and hang in there!

survivor said...

Thanks for the support! It's great to be back in touch with you guys.

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himanshubatra said...

that is fine, every thing will settle down