Boyfriend and I had the dreaded conversation. Y'know, the "are you the one for me"... not sure how it came about, something on the TV show Friends triggered it...
He doesn't know if I am the one for him. He said he's pretty sure that I am, but he's not positive.
I told him that after almost a year together if he still doesn't know, than I'm probably not and we should just stop wasting our time.
I don't think he gets it. It really hurt to hear that he's not sure.
I'm not looking for a ring either. I don't want that right now. What I NEED right now is to know that we're on the same page, future wise. I've let him in farther than I've ever let a man into my life, into my head, into all the spaces that are terrifying to let ANYONE in... and now knowing for sure that he's not sure I don't want him in those spaces. The emotional doors closed and up went the walls the second he said that.
Am I asking too much? Is expecting him to be in the same place as me unfair?
I don't know what to do. My heart broke when he said that... and with his "keeping my options open" approach to everything, well...
My usual reaction is to just run and cut the person who hurt me out of my life because there's been too much hurt.
Am I over-reacting?
The way I see it, I wouldn't have let him move in with me if I didn't think/feel/want/see a future together. Is this where men and women are different? I just don't see or understand how someone could commit to living together and not be sure about the other person? Maybe my thinking is clouded because there's a hurt I've never felt before.
I dunno... I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with this, somewhere I've never been and I'm basically lost...