Monday, January 09, 2012

It's been a while...

Wow, how time flies and life just happens.

I've come here many times over the past few years to write but I always delete what I wrote for some reason. I think it's because I feel guilty that I don't need this anymore.

I'm in a good place and have been for a few years.

I got married in 2009 to the boyfriend I often spoke of in my posts. We have a good marriage, we are happy. We communicate, we trust each other. It is so wonderful to have someone I can count on, who understands me. He has read this blog from start to finish and never once did he pass judgement. I love him!

We had a baby girl in 2010. She is the absolute love of my life. I'm biased, but she is amazing! I thank God for her daily. Every morning is like waking up in a dream, like I've stepped into someone else's seemingly perfect, happy life.

I never, ever thought this would be my life. If I was asked 10 years ago where I would be today I NEVER would have said this. I never would have thought happily married with a daughter was in my future. Based on my past alone I figured I would be a hardened person who was still very much alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is hope. There is a top to that seemingly never ending mountain we climb on the way to healing. Those peaks and valleys that seem to be like quicksand, sucking you down and holding you in a standstill of pain DO end. I'm living proof. If you can't trust in the process (I had a helluva time trusting my counselor that things would get better if I just keep working at it) trust in me (I know, cliche!) because it does happen.

You DO heal.

You WILL find happiness.

Most of all, you DESERVE to be healed. You DESERVE to be happy.


Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you. I read your blog and your last post in 2008 and after reading that and nothing else I thought you had given up. I am so happy to read that you were off doing good things and have happiness to share. You deserve it. Im glad youre in a better place. Don't ever take down this blog. It will help many people who have been through what weve been through. Your blog helped me tremendously to not feel alone with what I was going through.

survivor said...

Thank you! I will never take down my blog as my hope is that it does continue to help people. It also serves to help me as well, it's a great reminder of where I've been and how far I've come.

Take care of you!

Imani said...

Im very happy for you! I too have healed, thank God! We can all heal...

Please read my story @ I pray it blesses many who feel our pain.


Shake-It-Off said...

Hi there,

I have literally just started a blog about rape and im kind of using it as a medium to help people and get everyone talking about rape and overcoming it in a new more possitive empowered way.

Id love for you to comment on my blog and we can make a massive circle of us!

Hope to hear from you.

Annoymous Oh said...

Thank you soo much for this. I am very glad you are a lot better. Reading things like this does show me that eventually I will be okay too.

cherrysnuggles said...

Im truly happy for you!!!! :)
YOu deserve all tat you have now- all the hard work paid off.. :)
You deserve every hapy moments in your life now.
And congrats on getting married :)
Im glad I looked at your blog tonight :)

Wishing you the best :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad God has blessed you with a husband and daughter! It is such a wonderful gift and certainly worthy of praise! I know this makes you happy but you won't be at peace from your past until you have all your WHY questions answered. Know that when God created people, His plan does not consist of rape or incest. That's why we feel violated when this happens. I encourage you to seek God for all your WHY questions. I did, and He led me to healing. I'm not angry or haunted by my past anymore, actually I don't even think about it, its as if I have literally, a 'new' life. Who is this God that loves us and heals us? My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God." Psalm 14:2 If you seek Him with all your heart, you won't be dissapointed. God has blessed and healed me above and beyond anything I could possibly think or imagine. My heart goes out to you. Praying for your healing, Love, Nelly :)

Elizabeth Beck said...

I am glad to have found your blog. I am writing one as well. Please come see me at: "Living with Memories"

peace to you

Elizabeth Beck said...
"Living with Memories"
another resource for incest, rape and domestic violence survivors.

Anonymous said...


I read this post two times.

I like it so much, please try to keep posting.

Let me introduce other material that may be good for our community.

Source: Police supervisor interview questions

Best regards

Yanting Chan said...

Hello! I stumbled upon your page whilst doing an undergraduate research on child sexual assault, and I'm so glad you're doing well right now :) God bless you and your newfound happiness, and bundle of joy! Love from Singapore.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, and I am just starting my own process of healing. I was wondering if I could share my journey with you guys as well. Thank you :)