I had always thought that healing was just that. You would simply heal and life would be sunshine and daisies. I was told that it is a journey, but I didn't truly understand that until recently.
Even though I hate this realization I am thankful to finally understand that I am not defective for continuing to struggle. This is a journey and it could last my entire life and that needs to be okay because otherwise I will quit again. I can't quit again. I can't walk away no matter how much pain I am in, or how dark or heavy or hopeless I feel.
This is a journey. Albeit a very frustrating one.
Healing is not linear nor singular.
There is no ultimate, magical moment that you reach where everything is perfect and all the trauma has been erased.
Even though I hate this realization I am thankful to finally understand that I am not defective for continuing to struggle. This is a journey and it could last my entire life and that needs to be okay because otherwise I will quit again. I can't quit again. I can't walk away no matter how much pain I am in, or how dark or heavy or hopeless I feel.
This is a journey. Albeit a very frustrating one.
4 comments:
Hello survivor
Thank you for you blog. I think I'd like to share some thoughts with you, maybe we can help each other on our healing journeys.
Like you I felt I had dealt with all of it, and then another layer just popped. I have a wonderful, amazing life, I've accomplished so much, I've forgiven and forget. And suddenly I feel as I reached at the bottom of the barrel. The barrel was empty, and then I started to scratch the bottom, and it's dirty under. I've forgiven everyone except myself, my self-worth is nil....
So if you'd like to exchange I don't really know how'd we do it... email or comment page.... In any case thank you for all your words... Love Guy Ps I'll come bcak to check on this page
May you lift your wing to this shing Sun.
does anyone know of any books about teens that escaped sexual abuse?
Hi there,
I too am a survivor of incest. I have struggled throughout the years with my own identity, putting my own needs before others and basically really knowing who I am. I have had many e rounds of therapy over the years and each time I believe I have found another aspect of myself. A few months ago and with the encouragement of my doctor, I started seeing a therapist who provides EMDR. I don't know if you are familiar with the process, but it might be worth your looking in to. It has helped me more than any other therapy I have had.
Thank you for being willing to share your feelings with the world. There are so many of us out there who are trying to find or voices.
I recently started a blog www.facesonthewall.org There aren't too many posts on there at this point because I am new to it and starting out slowly.
Much love to you,
Michele
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